Unfortunately
for my partner, falling in love with me and deciding to move in together,
didn’t mean just togetherness and closeness, it meant responsibility. When we
first met and fell in love, I had uncontrolled epilepsy which caused him a huge
amount of worry and stress. If I didn’t respond to text messages or answer the
phone in a reasonable period of time, he would get a feeling of dread in the
pit of his stomach and rush home to me or call people he knew I was with if I
was out. Outwardly, this would have appeared controlling because only those
closest to me knew about my epilepsy and how bad it was but my partner was so
protective, so caring and attentive that it truly did make me fall deeper in
love with him.
One
particular day I had quite a bad blackout and when my partner arrived home, he
found me in the bathroom halfway in the shower and I had turned a charming shade
of blue/grey. How he would have felt in this moment, I cannot comprehend but he
is first aid trained so he knew exactly what to do and I am here to tell the
tale.
This man
has saved my life numerous times metaphorically and emotionally. But this man has
saved my life LITERALLY and this is something that connects you to a person
that you simply cannot explain. I am truly and completely devoted to this
beautiful man who is my own personal superhero.
He has
handled that very scary period of our lives like a trooper, nothing was too
much for him, he supported me through everything.
Another
milestone that rocked me was the death of my great grandma, he organised
flights, accommodation and all of the arrangements so we could travel for the
funeral and all I had to focus on was feeling and grieving. He knows me better
than I know myself and he truly does prescribe to the “show love” method, not
just saying it.
The
other memory that comes to mind was the birth of our daughter. He was STRESSED
STRESSED STRESSED. This was THE biggest moment of his life but it wasn’t until
a week or two after we had settled in at home with the baby that he came clean
and told me just what he went through, because like always, I was his primary
concern and keeping me calm and comfortable is where he focussed his energy. It
was when he left me and baby at the hospital that he let himself crumble.
You see,
like a lot of women out there, I did not have the greatest of birth
experiences. I had a 36 hour excruciating labour, gave birth naturally to a 10
lb 6oz bumper baby who in her eagerness to join the world, broke my pelvis and
shortly after birth whilst having our first special moments looking into our
baby’s eyes was when the birth experience took a real nose dive. I recall
asking my partner to hold the baby as I was losing strength in my arms and
shortly after that, everything went black. I suffered a severe haemorrhage and
my poor devoted partner witnessed the whole event with our baby girl in his
arms, so shocked he couldn’t move. The fantastic nursing and specialist medical
staff managed to bring me back and stabilise me. Once things settled down and
my partner was asked to go home for some rest I had a grand mal seizure,
presumably due to the trauma of birth but I am very glad he was not present for
that moment as there is only so much a man can see the one he loves go through.
Again, the wonderful medical staff stabilised me and I was fine and still here
to tell the tale and see my wonderful daughter grow up.
It was
this close call that made me realise the depth of my partners love for me, I
will never forget the look on his face when he kissed me goodnight that night.
Of course I now know that despite being a pillar of strength for me and
completely attentive to my every need, inside he was a crumbling mess and I was
so out of it I could not be his rock. Thankfully his beautiful mother knew him
well enough to know how he was feeling and took him for a lovely lunch to
congratulate him on the wonderful gift of our daughter and to remind him of the
positives despite the ordeal.
We have
had all of the financial worries and moving arguments that every normal couple
has but the extra challenges some of the above moments threw at us have brought
us closer and given me examples of the depth of our love. I am grateful that I
have the love of my life. Do I often argue with him? Yes. Do I want to inflict
physical harm? On occasion (don’t judge, we all do).
But one
thing is for certain, I know I love him, and despite all of the trials we may
encounter and how much we may rub each other the wrong way from time to time, I
know he is worth the effort of always working on our relationship to ensure we
make it in the long run. In this society of instant gratification and
everything being replaceable – one thing is for certain, my own personal
superhero is irreplaceable.
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